Secrets

Why do we keep them? Some secrets aren't that big, such as having a celebrity crush or something. But depending on the severity and the importance of a secret, it can literally gnaw away at your soul, as was seen in The Scarlet Letter through Dimmesdale's mental and physical deterioration. So the question is: why do we keep them?

The number one reason that we keep secrets is to keep the peace. We hold onto secrets in order to keep others blissful, content, set in their vision of the world, and in their vision of us. Secrets can form the strongest walls between people and within people. They are what keeps the world moving but also what stagnates our ability to grow. Secrets can range from the little white lies people tell, "yes, I know what you're talking about", to our deepest thoughts and secrets - ones we take to the grave. Obviously, most of the secrets we keep and most of the lies we tell fall somewhere in between. Now we should first put some boundaries on what can be considered a 'lie'. Lies can be as small as a nudge of the truth when telling some gossip to different people; they can be telling a half-truth and omitting some 'irrelevant' details. How big a lie can get . . . well there really is no upper limit.

When asked if I lie, I, along with most rational people, would say no. Most people would also say that they don't keep secrets. This is our instinctive reaction - why would I tell a lie or a keep a secret and then talk about it? Many times, we don't intentionally tell lies, they are a product of trying to justify our thoughts or actions and are a manifestation of how we try to live up to our own image.

So why are lies so harmful? Let's look at this in a roundabout manner. If I ever catch myself telling a lie, there is about a 10 minute grace period in which I would come clean about it. Every minute and hour outside this period makes it harder and harder to tell the truth. If I fess up about something, most often a metaphoric weight is lifted off my shoulders and I (but maybe not the person I lied to) will feel better. If I don't come to terms with the lie, I'll hang a "poor me" banner around myself and try to tell myself that it was really the other person's fault and that I was justified in my actions. Of course, this never really works out. So in the end we reach this: no matter how bad telling the truth might seem, there are ways in which everyone, ultimately, is healed.