Mom vs. Dad

The two short stories we read this week, "Shooting Dad" and "Arm Wrestling with My Father", dealt with father-daughter and father-son relationships. They spoke to the understanding that develops through time and how their relations differ and resemble. On the other hand, we can consider a child relation with his father and mother. The difference between styles of parenting is definitely there and possibly compounds over time.

As addressed by the two narratives we read this week, a father tends to take his own hobbies, interests, and expectations, and place them onto his children. Fathers are also generally more focused on having high expectations of their children and encouraging them to deliver on those consistently. With my own dad, I have found that he focuses more on results rather than the methods used to achieve them. Meaning, as long as I meet his expectations, he doesn't really have much opinion upon how I spend my time to do so. Fathers, while they do not verbalize as much as mothers do, tend to be more direct and with fewer words. They may seem to be "too tough" to the moms, but their toughness is rooted in helping kids be prepared for real life.

And on the other side, mothers tend to find themselves generally in a more nurturing role. There seems to be an emotional connection between mother and child that a father simply doesn't get. In addition, mothers tend to verbalize a lot more with the children. Mothers generally put their children's needs ahead of their own. She seems to come pre-wired to self-sacrifice; perhaps that starts with pregnancy where a Mom's full time physical care role is so dramatic. With my mom, I can definitely see more concern about the process than the result. Although she may act like a "Tiger Mother" (Chua) sometimes, she is overall more involved with my daily events and concerns than my father.

Now from my perspective, these differences are accentuated as the child grows older. With my little sister, my Mom and Dad act relatively similar in terms of babying and pushing. However with me, I can clearly feel the differences. Maybe its the difference between son and daughter, but the older I become, the more I feel the changes. But no matter the differences in styles of parenting, the affection and care are always present and ready.

F Scott Hess' "Soul", 2005

Faces

I have finished my gallery.
My Seven Laughter's of God.
This collector stands before me, in his expensive suit
and with his lustful wife.She is pale white, like a vampire.
He offers his hand to me.
His hand is warm, and exudes wealth and authority.
I will wear a smile.

I shake hands with this young artist.
My wife warms up to him.
He wears the same celebratory red as my wife,
but also the gold of wealth, and the stench of aspiration.
He stands erect, brash, and with a broad smile
that must be a result of my presence.
I am so cool.

I am moved by this painting.
Even among this clamoring crowd, there is an air of appreciation.
In my many years as a critic,
there have been none as captivating.
My excitement is tangible,
manifesting itself in the face of this lewd, crouching girl.
I can't show emotions though.

I stare at the tentative prices for these works.
My lover is pointing out a painting,
but I don't know whats going on.
She forces me here every week
because she likes to scrutinize art as a critic might.
And I stand beside her, mute and stoic.
I will pretend to understand.

Inferiority and Superiority

Fish Cheeks by Amy Tan argues that although it is important to somewhat assimilate in order to fit in with the majority, it is also important to retain cultural pride. In Fish Cheeks, Amy narrates how she tried to view herself and her family through the eyes of white society, and thus the Chinese background she came from seemed strange and grotesque. For several decades, people of many minorities were viewed as inferior to whites. Even today, this bias persists throughout our culture in several places, but it has also become severely warped in the past decade. No longer are Chinese, Indian, and Asian persons considered to be inferior, but they are in fact praised through a "new strain of racial, ethnic and culture reductivism" (Mehta) that has swept the American psyche.

Contrasting between how little was expected of Asians in the past, how they did the cheapest and dirtiest jobs, and the expectations held for Asians today is like comparing the Earth and Sky. The stereotypes today are plentiful, and although flattering on the surface, hide a different strain of racism and isolation.

• Most likely to be nerds (2010 Study by Qin Zhang)
• Academic overachievers
• Lacking in social and communicative skills

These are the most prominent among the various stereotypes offered in mass media, and each one is severely degrading to those sensitive to mainstream culture - which is about everyone. The expectations set by an ethnic background already rooted in hard work as the path to success is trying enough, but these cultural influences add upon another layer of stress in order to be accepted. Being applauded by the media for their intellectual 'superiority' is not at all flattering to many, and often leads to social isolation and detachment. These "model minorities" are just another form of racism.

What Did I Just Write?

I ask myself this question a lot sometimes, and a lot of the time it comes in different forms. The question ranges from writing, obviously, to what I say, do, read, and choose. When I read over the essays I wrote this past year, I kept thinking to myself "what did I just read?" and I'm sure I could have read over it a hundred times and still made no sense of it. Accordingly, I was curious as to how bad it was before this year: how terrible my essays and responses were during my Freshman and Sophomore years. I wasn't disappointed in the confusion the offered me.

Writing has never been one of my strengths. While I excelled in classes like math and science with slightly more definite answers, the concept of no true right or wrong in English always eluded me. So when it came down to writing papers, I ended up sticking to generic structures and bland development. Thus, a formulaic approach would come over when writing in class and sometimes at home. This was further perpetuated by the teachings of APUSH last year, where every essay was basically the spewing of facts onto paper. I have tried to move away from this a little bit this year, and hopefully I will be further along the road when the AP test comes along. Starting late last year, but really beginning early this year, I started brainstorming before I started writing an essay. I always thought this step was merely a time consumer, but have come to understand that writing down passing ideas, no matter how seemingly irrelevant helps a long way when actually writing. So hopefully by the time AP's come along, I don't walk out of the room thinking "What did I just write?"