Mom vs. Dad

The two short stories we read this week, "Shooting Dad" and "Arm Wrestling with My Father", dealt with father-daughter and father-son relationships. They spoke to the understanding that develops through time and how their relations differ and resemble. On the other hand, we can consider a child relation with his father and mother. The difference between styles of parenting is definitely there and possibly compounds over time.

As addressed by the two narratives we read this week, a father tends to take his own hobbies, interests, and expectations, and place them onto his children. Fathers are also generally more focused on having high expectations of their children and encouraging them to deliver on those consistently. With my own dad, I have found that he focuses more on results rather than the methods used to achieve them. Meaning, as long as I meet his expectations, he doesn't really have much opinion upon how I spend my time to do so. Fathers, while they do not verbalize as much as mothers do, tend to be more direct and with fewer words. They may seem to be "too tough" to the moms, but their toughness is rooted in helping kids be prepared for real life.

And on the other side, mothers tend to find themselves generally in a more nurturing role. There seems to be an emotional connection between mother and child that a father simply doesn't get. In addition, mothers tend to verbalize a lot more with the children. Mothers generally put their children's needs ahead of their own. She seems to come pre-wired to self-sacrifice; perhaps that starts with pregnancy where a Mom's full time physical care role is so dramatic. With my mom, I can definitely see more concern about the process than the result. Although she may act like a "Tiger Mother" (Chua) sometimes, she is overall more involved with my daily events and concerns than my father.

Now from my perspective, these differences are accentuated as the child grows older. With my little sister, my Mom and Dad act relatively similar in terms of babying and pushing. However with me, I can clearly feel the differences. Maybe its the difference between son and daughter, but the older I become, the more I feel the changes. But no matter the differences in styles of parenting, the affection and care are always present and ready.